Ernest Gary Gygax Jr. has been in the hospital for a while now. He and I have been talking over the last few days and I’d seeing posts that the family have been gathering to say goodbye. It breaks my heart, but Ernie Gygax has passed away.
I know, Ernie can be a bit of a controversial character in the gaming community. I get it. I do. But I also have been friends with Ernie for a while now. Whatever you think you know about Ernie? Unless you ever spent time with him, you really haven’t known him at all.
Let me share with all of you a story.
Jen Brinkman and I met Ernie in a most unusual way. Our group, Marooned, had been performing at Gen Con every year and we would drive up to Illinois to see friends and family before heading over to the con. It would give us a chance to hit Bristol and to recharge. In July of 2013, out of the blue, I got a facebook message from Steven Froggatt (my stepmother’s younger brother), telling me that he’d learned that he’d heard that Jen and I played D&D and how we needed to meet his friend Ernie. I asked “Ernie who?” and he responded “Ernie Gygax.”
A few minutes later I got a message that read,
“My buddy Sparky the Frog says that you and your wife are going to come up to Lake Geneva and play D&D with me.”
We drove up to Lake Geneva, met him, and ended up going back to his house for a night of gaming. We brought dinner (chicken from the Pig), and we played various card and board games. We laughed, shared stories, and talked about the world.
We’ve been friends ever since.
That first meeting literally changed our lives and set us on the road to where we are now. It was that year that Ernie told us about Gary Con and instructed us to come. In the car afterwards Jen said “If Ernie Gygax tells us that we are going to Gary Con, then we are going to Gary Con.”
It was at Gary Con VI that Jen met the Judges J, and hung out with them, not knowing that it was a soft interview to see about asking her to join Spellburn. It was at that Gary Con that we made so many of the friends that we hold near and dear today, and began our real entry into the gaming industry.
He invited both of us to write choose your own adventure-style books for the Crossroads to Adventure line in support of the upcoming Hobby Shop Dungeon project. While no books in the line were ever published, mine was written and accepted. My first long form writing gig. Until we moved from Florida, the massive flowchart for organizing the book hung on my office door.
Such was the magic of Ernie.
The rights for the book (“Marked by Idris”, book one of the “Daman the Mystic”) have since reverted to me. I’ve played with the idea of editing it a bit to remove the DHS specific materials and publishing it. I just need to dig it up. The cover and interior art were done by Lloyd Clark. I got to see all of it…I’m sorry that everyone else hasn’t.
Later, when Jen, David Baity, and I began the Sanctum Secorum podcast (at the suggestion of Jim Wampler), Ernie appeared as a guest to talk about Appendix N and the old days of gaming. (http://sanctum.media/blog/index.php/2017/03/03/sanctum-secorum-22-gary-con-special-part-1-appendix-n/)
When friends were nearby, he always welcomed them with open arms and, as we learned from his first contact with us, he welcomed strangers too.
Like all of us, Ernie was not a perfect man. He had flaws and held ideas that many people disagree with. He faced his challenges and was not without his regrets. However, to be clear, there was never any malice in his heart. He just wanted to hang out with people, play games, and be surrounded by laughter and camaraderie.
Still, there was always something missing in his life… until he met Donna. My god, the way his eyes would light up when just mentioning her name. In our conversations these past few nights, you could hear it in his voice.
The two of them together? So special, one could even unironically call it magical.
Seeing them at their wedding this past year, it was pure magic…the epitome of love. I am so glad that they found one another…and my heart breaks that they are now parted.
Four days prior to the anniversary of his father’s passing, Ernie has moved on to join him. I like to think that Gary and Ernie are currently strong-arming James M. Ward into running a new Metamorphosis Alpha campaign to allow them to revive their old Vigilist characters from the early days of the game. After all, for all his bluster and bravado, I think that is Ernie’s real view of heaven. A place where he can be with friends and loved ones, gaming without end, and spending time with those he holds dear.
When Ernie and I last spoke on Wednesday night, something had changed. There was a weariness to his voice that hadn’t been there before. I had been trying to call him, and finally texted him to let him know that I was trying to call, but my calls were failing. Within 5 minutes, Ernie called.
The thing was, it wasn’t our normal conversation. Instead, he was calling to see if I was still willing to help another longtime friend of his who was working to bring a project to fruition. I think he was trying to make sure that he didn’t let anyone down. After we talked about that, we spoke a bit longer.
He said that it looked like his choices were to remain in the hospital until he died, or try to get well enough to go home and that, even then, something could go bad. He spoke about his hope that there would be some nice weather this spring and of holding a multi-day outdoor event at his home so that gamers could come and give a big sendoff to a man who loved games almost as much as his dad.
Both of us barely held it together there, but we did. The conversation went on a little longer, but that was the last time I’d ever speak to Ernie – I just didn’t know it yet. Well, I think I probably did know, I just didn’t want to accept it yet.
Last Monday, when my uncle passed away, there were two people I had been planning on calling that day. My uncle Denny… and Ernie. Now both of them are gone.
I’d hoped to have heard wrong. I wanted to hear Ernie’s gruff voice on the phone and imagined it would begin…
“Mr. Brinkman….I’ve got a bone to pick with you. How did Mark Twain say it? Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated,” followed by that soft chuckle of his. God I still want that phone call…
To Donna, to all of Ernie’s family, and to his countless friends and admirers, I join you in profound grief at his passing. The world will never see another man like Ernest Gary Gygax Jr.
